Prayer....

I have been struggling a bit with the whole prayer thing. I finally had a little while this evening once everyone went to bed to do some online reading...some bible reading, etc. Can I vent? I hope you said yes, because this is my blog and I am venting whether you like it or not! :-)

I have prayed since the beginning of my mom's illness to "take this cup away from her". I KNEW that Got could perform miracles, and I just KNEW that he would bless us with one in healing my mom. I held out hope for a miracle until her dying breath. My prayer was not answered. I realize that prayers are not always answered, or at least not answered in the way that we would like them to be. Sometimes, looking back on some things, I am thankful to God for not answering certain prayers...but this prayer....this prayer I NEEDED him to answer. Alas, it isn't my will, but His will. His will did not include my mother living past the age of 62 years.

I read the following from Focus on the Family today. I wondered...why He didn't answer my prayer. I prayed boldy, often and in faith....

Are you waiting for an answer?

It's easy to think that God's not listening--especially when you've been praying that "one special request" for longer than you can remember.Don't be discouraged! Here's what He says about prayer...

1. Pray boldy. God wants us to approach Him with confidence! (Hebrews 4:16)

2. Pray often. God desires a relationship with us. (1 Thessalonians. 5:17)

3. Pray in faith. He is able and willing. (Mark 11:24-26)

...so why didn't He answer my prayer? This is the response I have come up with after researching a bit.

Mom had taught all of us that her eternal relationship with God was above and beyond anything that this life could offer. We had all prayed for Mom to live, and God answered with a wondrous “YES!” (John 11:25). Mom is living...just not in the way we wanted her to. Sometimes, God just answers, “No” to our prayers. Any delay or unexpected outcome really shouldn't discourage us. We have to ask ourselves...what is God's purpuse through our prayers...what does He want to complete in us through prayer?

God wants us to bring our every need to Him as He answers (yes or no) according to His will. God will never say yes that is contrary to His will. I'll be the first to agree that receiving a “Yes” makes us happy. But God never promised us happiness. Happiness is based solely on circumstances. God wants us to have everlasting joy -- even when He responds, “No, it will be done in My time, not yours.” Don't forget, in Luke 22:41-44, Jesus really struggled with the events leading up to His death. In fervent prayer, His greatest desire was to allow God’s will, not His suffering and pain (Hebrews 12:2).

When we pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18), God will always respond, and every answer will bring joy, just not always the joy we had in mind. I have to remember though, that mom is in an incredible place. Our little minds can't even wrap around what heaven is like. She has won. She is with our Father, and she will be there with open arms when it is our time.

I think I feel better now...thanks for letting me vent.....